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 Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!

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Brashin
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PostSubject: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:05 pm

Thats right folks another great product brought to you by BrashCo.

Picture this, your in a BC2 game of Rush, your defending objective A, bullets and tracers are flying all around you, BAM you take a hit to the shoulder, Bam another hit to the leg, your bleeding and now you see a 2-man team moving to finish you off and take the objective. You frantically look around for a med-kit to get some much needed meds to keep you in the fight and find out that the med-kit you open up says "made in China" and has a pack of Skittles and a star wars colored band-aid (which also looks used somehow). It's at that point you realize 2 things:

1) Your so SCREWED and
b) You wish it was a Brashin brand med-kit

You see Brashin brand med-kits have all the essentials a grunt in the field needs. Morphine...check, Tylenol....check, pack of Lucky Strikes cigarettes...check, gause and bandages...check, scalpel....check, hemostat clamps...check, 9mm bullet in case you need to end things on your own terms...check. What also sets things apart is that Brashin brand med-kits are also made with more love than the next leading brand of med-kit so you know it's good.

So the next time your in the field and some slimy medic throws out a med-kit, if it's not a Brashin brand med-kit be sure to tell the medic that you only take Brashin branded med-kits and while your at it put a bullet in his head for such a grave mistake.

But hey folks, don't take my word for it listen to these other satisfied customers (these are not paid testimonials)

"I was in a match where my 4-man team was in a competitive match. We were defending the objective when my squadmate on the left gets drilled in the chest screaming for a medic. No sooner do I yell for medic that I too get shot in the chest. The medic throws out a med-kit and tells us to patch ourselves up. I scramble through the kit looking for something to ease the pain and as my bloody hands reach in I pull out a pack of gummi-worms which I tried to then use as leeches to help clean the wound...needless to say they didn't work. My squadmate reached in himself and actually pulled out duct tape, which he then tried to use as a makeshift bandage. When all was said and done right before I found myself bleeding out, I remember seeing on the med-kit box "made in Mexico" and it was only then that I knew our medic had forsaken us. From now on I...nickb-93 will only use Brashin brand med-kits"

If that dosen't sway you over what about this one:

"My squad is sitting here setting up an ambush as our SL wants to get the drop on the attacking squad when all of a sudden a grenade goes off right in the middle of the 4 of us. Our medic is incapacitated, the SL is crying screaming "game over man" over and over. Then out of the blue this guy who was ten times more muscular and handsome then myself comes bounding through the brush and throws a med-kit right at my feet. My trembling fingers eagerly open the med-kit to find an assortment of well packed medical supplies. As this person starts to run off back into the jungle I hear him shout "Remember if it's not a Brashin brand med-kit your wasting your time". I quickly rummage through the med-kit and find exactly what I'm looking for...a 9mm bullet which I quickly chamber into my pistol and blow my Sl's head off for getting us in this mess in the first place. I'm not sure who the strange medic was but I will say that it was the best packed med-kit I have ever seen, the supplies were top notch. I know my fellow squadmates Zokoro & Raven know that we will only use Brashin brand med-kits in the field...oh and RIP to our SL Brownie."

Come on how can you not want a Brashin brand med-kit after that....oh still unsure well....

"So I'm all alone making my way to the flag point and some random bullet shreds my left arm. My arm is bleeding everywhere I would have screamed out like a little girl but I knew once I called for a medic Brashin was right by my side. He whipped out his special Brashin branded med-kit and went to work assessing my injuries. It was then that he pulled out the pack of Lucky Strikes cigarettes, he then told me how the bullet shattered my bone which ricocheted and punctured my lung, I was boned and Brashin knew it. While I was puffing that sweet cigarette (kid's don't smoke) Brashin asked me to sign this testimonial asking for endorsement of his product before I bit the big one. I just want to say with my last words that Brashin brand med-kits are a soldiers best friend and that the world is now a little worse off now that Tac_260 is no longer in it."

So you see folks having a Brashin brand med-kit is the only way to enter the battle, knowing that you have a Ace up your sleeve is a huge boost to the morale of your squad. So why settle for the rest when you can have the best, that's right Brashin brand med-kits are available from your local quartermaster. And remember if it doesn't say "Brashin" on the med-kit you might as well kill yourself.

Look forward to more exciting Brash Co brand products in a forum near you...

Also look forward to Killophile branded Ammo-kits as Killo says they are the Brashin of ammo-kits...

I invite all of you who have tried a Brashin brand med-kit to post your endorsement/stories of the amazing curative properties from these med-kits.

Also post your stories of non Brashin branded med-kits as we here at Brash Co love to hear how much our competitors suck.


Last edited by Brashin on Thu Jun 03, 2010 5:58 am; edited 1 time in total
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na_na_na_batman
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PostSubject: Re: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:49 pm

how much for 11 kits?
that way when im stuck in a team full of medics they can actully heal me the brashin way.

do you sell brashin brand defribulators?
are you going to spread out to brashin brand RPGs?
if so ill have some.
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Killophile
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PostSubject: Re: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:59 pm

Dude you have wayyyyyyy toooooo much free time.
Made me laugh though, thanks for your help, and FFS come DoW.


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starbug666
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PostSubject: Re: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Thu Jun 03, 2010 1:22 am

LOL! loved it




It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice
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whatsit2yah
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PostSubject: Re: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:00 am

i'm with star, i loved it too, nice story and very funny


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Brashin
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PostSubject: Re: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:01 am

Hey appreciate the feedback guys.

yes had some spare time on my hands...like 10-15min this morning at work so figured might as well make the most of it.

Batman, I will need to expand to Defrib's and other supplies found in game, when I do I'll be sure to post them here for your viewing pleasure.

Killo, your welcome for the plug on your Ammo kits.

Star bug, whatsit2yah, hey it's what I do, I'm here for your reading pleasure
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Brashin
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PostSubject: Re: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Fri Jun 11, 2010 9:51 pm

Allow me to copy and paste some things from the other clan forum for you reading pleasure.

To give some back story I appointed Needswall my Chief Marketing Officer, this was what he posted when I asked him to announce some upcoming offers from BrashCo:

While there have been some delays with the releases of new and future BrashCo. Brand equipment due to issues within the R&D department, BrashCo. is proud to announce the launch of its latest department, the 'BrashCo. Any Level Learning & Simulators' or B.A.L.L.S.

B.A.L.L.S. has a wealth of experience when it comes to our on site lectures and simulators, employing some of the best minds and most battle worn or withered individuals to pass on their knowledge to you the ‘Students Always Craving Knowledge’ or S.A.C.K.

Classes available to all you budding B.A.L.L.S. S.A.C.K.’s include:

Assault Training –
Grenade launcher trajectory training; and
How and why not to spam grenade and demolish buildings currently occupied by squad mates and / or friendly objectives.

Engineer Training –
Why the repair tool is better utilized for repairing tanks and other vehicles than mixing cocktails; and
101 reasons silenced weapons are for sissies, go loud or go home.

Medic Training –
Defibrillation for dummies; and
The much anticipated answer to ‘why is it I can fire 200 rounds from my Type 88 LMG at the enemy and not hit a thing’ (sneak peak for the general topic of conversation – you’re a muppet).

Recon Training –
A lecture on why it takes 9 people to hide on the hill in an attempt to cover the 3 people who aren’t sissies trying to take the objective (to be fair, this is less of a lecture and more of a rant at those individuals who snipe when there is clearly no need to snipe, followed by a severe beating to the head with a large wet fish for all snipers in attendance); and
For those of you partial to utilizing the mortar strike, feel free to attend the Assault Training for ‘How and why not to spam grenade and demolish buildings currently occupied by squad mates and / or friendly objectives’ and just read between the lines.


But wait! There is more! Not only does B.A.L.L.S. have an extensive list of people who love the sounds of their voice so much they are more than happy to tell you all about it, we also have the most up to date simulators in the market (seriously, we make NASA look about as technically advanced as a middle aged blind man trying to assist a plane landing in fog and ice during a hurricane using a mega phone to communicate to the pilot because the airports telecommunication equipment was repossessed after he siphoned off and spent the budget on that sex change operation for his long term cabana boy Tito, but I digress) . The simulator machines on site include:

Quad Bike Simulator –
A half hour lecture on why riding on the back of a quad with Brashin at the wheel can only have one end result, your death followed by repeatedly not learning from your prior mistakes or the lecture but instead re-enacting the even on our simulator.

M3A3 Bradley & BMD-3 Bakhcha Simulator –
This simulator is more of a sensory overload exercise where the driver of the vehicle is bombarded by the incoherent screams of 3 squad mates who are manning the turret gun and port LMG’s in a vein attempt to call out enemy positions.

BMD-3 Bakhcha AA Simulator –
The premise of this simulator revolves around you sitting on the turret gun getting sniper killed.

M1A2 Abrams & T-90 MBT Simulator –
Clearly our most popular simulator to date for the simple reason that you get to blow lots of things up!

AH-64 Apache, MI-28 Havoc, UH-60 Blackhawk & MI-24 Hind Simulator –
With this all purpose helicopter simulator we have not yet received the upgrades to allow you to practice the actual piloting skills of the various aircraft, however what we have on offer is something special. You are trained to fire blindly at enemy troops running around like ants below while the simulator twists and turns as though piloted by a blind drunkard. The climax of the simulation is a test of your skills to find out if you have the ability to bail out once you realise that the pilot has abandoned you and safely parachuted to earth, leaving you to the inevitable fate in stall for you at the hands of the 3 tracer locked on rockets speeding you to your doom.

We look forward to welcoming all potential B.A.L.L.S. S.A.C.K.’s to our facility. Have a nice day.
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Brashin
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PostSubject: Re: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Fri Jun 11, 2010 9:51 pm

and here is my follow up post:

Thanks Needs, as I have stated many times before not only to our Board members but also our Business Partners, there is no one else I'd rather have on my staff than you (not to mention that new hot secretary we just brought on board, remind me to choose a Director for Human Resources at our next Executive Leadership Meeting).

Needs speaks the truth, and we feel that the our latest department will satisfy all our future B.A.L.L.S. S.A.C.K.’s.

Now against my better judgment let me also expand on some additional courses you will find, many of which are led by myself. This is a special treat for our customers as not only do you gain from my valuable knowledge and wisdom, but also gain some additional training to help satisfy our S.A.C.K.’s

Intrusion skills Training -
This is to go along with our Recon training package detailed by Needs above. In the Intrusion skills training soldiers will learn the best spots to setup their favorite tent and marshmallows as they camp out beneath the stars. You will learn what it means to be utterly useless on the assault as you sit and watch through your scope while your fellow squadmates get their hands dirty you will be snug in your sleeping bag with a hand full of trail mix by your side as you watch the action.

Live Fire Exercise Training -
What better way to prepare to go into battle than being shot at with Live Rounds? Sure you have gone through the basic training where you climb a rope or go through a challenge course or even play laser tag, but we here at BrashCo believe that real men come into their own when their lives are in danger. During this training package our drill instructors will fire live rounds as you go through a grueling set of exercises. Trust me when I say you complete this training you will be ready for any assignment.

Identification, Friend or Foe Training -
In this training module soldiers will become familiar with how to identify if a soldier is a Friend or Foe. Unlike our Fighter Pilots who get a nice beeping sound to warn them not to shoot a Sparrow missile up a friendly Tomcats rear end our boots on the ground do not have that luxury. During this training soldiers will come across various scenarios to help tell the difference. We have different levels of this training starting with the most basic scenario such as, if someone is shooting at you they are an enemy return fire immediately. To our more advanced scenario such as, While in a squad and a fellow soldier in your unit fires a harmless tracer which makes you stick out like Rudolph the Red nosed F*&^ing Reindeer in the middle of a blizzard this act should be considered hostile and appropriate action must be taken to neutralize the situation.

Commando Training -
Yes, one of what we here at BrashCo believe will be one of our more popular training packages caters to our would be "R.A.M.B.O.'s" (Runs Around Map Breaking Orders). These soldiers are trained to not follow instructions laid out by Squad Leaders and enjoy operating independently. No objective is too difficult a task for these soldiers as they routinely operate behind enemy lines setting charges and capping flags. The downside is that while they may get to an objective without proper support they are quickly eliminated. We will show you how to beat the odds with this training package.

Ka-Bar or Combat Knife Training -
For those who don't believe in the age old adage "Never bring a Knife to a Gun fight" this training is for you. You will learn how to holster your weapon and pull out your 7-inch combat knife and learn to wield it like a Samurai warrior. We will also teach you how to go into "Bullet Time" mode which allows you to pull Matrix like moves as you dodge bullets on your way to plunging that cold hard steel into your enemy. In our more advanced training we will even show you that Jedi are not the only people in the universe who can stop a projectile fired at them, as you will learn how to block bullets with your knife like a lightsaber. We also have additional training where we show you our most secret of secrets...that once you brandish your knife you will gain the ability to increase your health and become almost Invincible as bullets will bounce off your chest as if you were Superman himself. Watch as your enemies foolishly fire round after round at you only to realize that their weapon has no effect on you and they realize all too late that they should have cut and run when they had the chance.

With the addition of our I. L.I.C.K. training for our future B.A.L.L.S. S.A.C.K.’s we here at BrashCo will continue to bring innovative ideas to our customers.
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whiteboy7255
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PostSubject: Re: Step right up, step right up for Brashco Brand Med-kits!!!   Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:51 pm

that was awsome lol!
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